


Best of Wives and Best of Women

by Daughter_of_the_TARDIS



Series: Best of Wives [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: BAMF River Song, Based on a Tumblr Post, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Matchmaker TARDIS, Second Wife - Freeform, Space Wives, because thirteen exists, cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-03 09:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16323509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daughter_of_the_TARDIS/pseuds/Daughter_of_the_TARDIS
Summary: “Took her long enough.” She snorted happily.  “I warned her I’d notice next time.  Still, second wife achievement: unlocked.”





	1. Chapter 1

River Song arrived at the coordinates that the history books had indicated with a pop of static and a flash of lightning. Taking a moment to make sure that she hadn't been followed - tricky, but still possible if the Sontarans she had pissed off had somehow been able to grab Vortex Manipulators or get close enough to hitch a ride with her. She smoothed down the skirts of her still-smoking gown, stamping out a few burning embers before she started walking along.

It took her a moment to find what she was looking for, but when she did she grinned. There were entire libraries dedicated to where the Doctor went, if one knew where to look. Luckily for her, River Song knew exactly where to look.

There she was.

River took a moment to appreciate the view - blue door that seemed to invite her inside and a sign on the door that promised help to those who needed it - before continuing forward, slipping her key into the lock as she quietly pushed the doors open. She ran her fingertips over the door panels, smiling softly as she felt the TARDIS hum in the back of her mind, welcoming her home.

She peeked inside - it wouldn't do to have Himself in there when she was trying to steal his ship - but froze when she saw the new console. Bright light spilled out from inside, It was different - big and gold and glowing, with open-worked walls, and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. 

“Look at you.” She whispered, her voice echoing slightly as she made her way to the console. She slipped off her heels, relishing in the slight coolness of the floor against her feet. “You're beautiful.” 

She could feel the warmth and a hint of shyness tingling in the back of her brain - as if the Old Girl was saying _stop it, you._

The new decor only stopped her for a few seconds before she started to make her way around the controls. It took her a moment to recognize them all - while the different instruments tended to stay in vaguely the same place on the console, they often changed shape and size. There was a moment when she worried because she hadn't seen this console before, but she quickly forgot about it. After all, the Doctor changed the wallpaper all the time - this was probably just one she hadn't seen yet.

So she stopped worrying about it, too concerned with deciding where to go next to bother. She had already met all of the Doctor's faces, after all - from the original grumpy old man to her baby-faced sweetie. There weren't any surprises left, she sighed.

There were times when she missed the surprises.

8888

She had barely landed the Old Girl when someone came into the console room. River couldn't help but roll her eyes at first - trust her husband to find yet another attractive young woman to follow him around the universe. She could see her out of the corner of her eye, stumbling into the room, the rocking of the TARDIS knocking her slightly off balance.

Then she looked up and saw short blonde hair and big hazel eyes and pyjamas that were a size too big and worn soft with time. She took in pale, slightly gangly limbs and the way the woman took her in with wide-eyed amazement. 

“Who are you?” the woman asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her hair was adorably mussed, like she had just climbed out of bed - which, judging by the wrinkled pyjamas she was wearing was probably the truth. “Where's the Doctor?”

“I'm the Doctor.” She tried halfheartedly, already knowing that it wouldn't work. She made her way around the controls as she did, running environment checks as she spoke with the woman.

“No you're not.” she argued, crossing her arms over her chest even as she made her way over to the console. She climbed up the stairs, approaching the Time Rotor.

“Thank goodness for that.” She couldn't help but mutter under her breath, already giving up the act. “I wouldn't be able to function with that much ego.”. She knew she was being a bit harsh on her husband, but she had become fed up a long time ago. Tired of looking for him when he obviously didn't want to be found. Tired of dealing with the fallout of a husband who wanted to hide the damage for once, and left her alone after her parents’ deaths.

So she went back out into the universe, rebuilding her reputation. Starting her life over again, and burying her past behind her - getting rid of everything except that battered blue diary. The first present she ever got in any of her lifetimes, the holder of all her memories of her parents. Of all her memories of him.

She shook her head, pulling herself out of those thoughts even as she turned and walked towards the companion. She couldn't help her smirk and the way her eyes lit up when she saw how the woman eyed her up as she got closer.

“Who are you?” She asked again, her Yorkshire accent fully noticeable. 

“Professor River Song.” she said, introducing herself. There was a part of her that still flinched at having to do so - especially to one of her husband's friends, and especially so soon after everything that had happened with her parents. “Look, I really don't have time for this right now.” River said, even as she hurried through the corridors to the wardrobe room. She continued talking as she started to change, leaving her tattered evening gown and heels on the floor as she threw on her battle gear. She paused for a second, smirking - whoever this new companion was, she had excellent taste. She could feel the tiny blonde's eyes burning into her, and she quickly turned around. Jane blushed, having been caught staring at her bum.

She gave a little half smile before turning back to the task at hand. “I'm running late and I have very important things to be doing, so if you could just not mention this to him, that would be lovely.”

“And what if I do? Mention it?” she asked, and River froze. She turned around slowly, giving her a deadly smirk.

“What's your name, dear?” she asked, all sharply sweet smiles and wicked curves. 

River could see her gulp, as if she knew what was coming. “Jane.” She answered after a moment - like she had to think of what her name was. “Jane Smith.”

“Well then, Jane.” River purred out the words, stalking forward. “I suppose I would have to do something about that. And my trigger finger can be ever so touchy when I'm cross…” she trailed off, letting her expression finish off the threat for her.

She nodded quickly, then - as if knowing that if she didn’t answer, things wouldn’t go well for her. “Where are we off to, then?” she asked, quickly changing the subject. She could feel her hearts racing as a sly grin spread across River’s face.

“To raid a tomb, of course.”


	2. Chapter 2

River quickly realized that this woman would mean trouble for her. The woman - Jane, she should probably start remembering this one's name, at least enough to stop calling her ‘cute’ in her head - was unfairly adorable, with her accent and willingness to follow her into trouble. Everytime she smiled, River fell just a little bit further. Still, she could handle herself for the most part, and it was no surprise as to why the Doctor had taken Jane as a companion. She was almost as prone to danger as the Doctor himself was, but slightly better at getting herself back out of danger. So it wasn't as worrying as it should have been when she realized that they were stuck on a planet whose name wasn’t pronounceable unless you had a second tongue - and where they had extremely strict marriage laws. 

It wasn't the first planet they had gone to together - they had been traveling for about a week at that point, and so far had visited three planets and a space station. Each one had been met with the same level of awe from her husband's companion, no matter how dismal they might have turned out to be. It was refreshing, almost - like seeing the universe for the very first time all over again. If this was what it was like, River mused, she could see why her husband liked to travel with other people. It was easier to see the good in the universe when there was someone else there to show it to.

The blonde woman had practically sprinted out of the TARDIS as soon as they landed, with River following behind her after doing the proper environment checks. It wouldn’t do to get her husband’s companion killed, no matter how much she wanted to run out there and damn the consequences. A small grin - a real one - crossed her face as she leaned back against the doors. She couldn't remember the last time that had happened - the last time she had properly smiled. It was strange, she mused, how much this woman had come to mean to her already. There was something about her that was almost addictive.

Jane - River couldn't even call her tiny, she was only an inch shorter than she was - looked at their surroundings with pure awe written on her face as she took in the wonders of the universe around her. It was amazing that no matter where they ended up, she still found something to be awed by. This time it was the way the planet smelled - like bonfires, if they had only been burning cheese and rotten meat instead of wood.

“This is brilliant.” she cheered, spinning to try and see everything until she became dizzy. Her eyes sparkled with joy even when her hair whipped her in the face. “It’s gorgeous… and it absolutely stinks!”

“That's what happens when you have a planet of cephalopods that live on land.” River said airily, slipping her PDA into her bag as she moved to join her companion. She couldn't help wrinkling her nose as she took a breath - while it was technically safe to breathe, it really did smell terrible. “Everything smells like day old sushi.”

They made their way across the planet, trekking over rocky terrain and laughing at the faces they made as they caught themselves, trying not to fall. River was better at it - there were a few times when she caught Jane before she fell, and then got to see the spectacular sight of the other woman blushing. A strange sort of warmth gathered in her stomach every time she saw a flush of pink stain across her cheeks.

“Thanks.” Jane said, sounding almost shy as she accepted the help. River smiled, pulling the other woman up to stand on her level. There was a moment when her eyes lingered on Jane’s lips, thinking about how easy it would be to just pull the other woman in close and kiss her for all she was worth. It took nearly all of her willpower to stop herself from kissing Jane - it wouldn't do to get attached again, no matter how much she might have wanted to.

“Here we are.” River finally announced, turning on the light at the end of her PDA and using it to see into the cavern in front of them. It was massive, with stalactites and stalagmites hanging ominously. The plan was simple - break into the temple at the bottom of the cavern, which was only accessible by a series of water-filled tunnels that only the native species of the planet could usually access. Of course, the Zhoroff were able to breathe the water with no difficulties - River and Jane had had to bring specially-made masks with them just for that purpose. River hadn’t told Jane anything that would happen after that, claiming that she wanted the other woman to have plausible deniability just in case things went wrong.

“This is gonna be fun.” Jane muttered, and River shot her a dry look. 

She gestured to the gaping maw in front of them. “If this is your idea of fun, darling, I’d hate to see what you consider a bad time.” she deadpanned.

Jane just smiled, offering River her arm as she headed towards the cave entrance. “See if you can keep up.” she said, eyes twinkling with mischief as she removed her coat and donned her mask. With that, she dove into the tunnels, a bit of water splashing back out. River laughed, tying her hair back before putting her own mask on.

"Geronimo." she whispered, jumping in after her.


	3. Chapter 3

They had made it almost halfway back to the TARDIS when Jane called out her name. “River.” she said, huffing slightly from climbing up the cliff sides. They had finally reached a resting point in the climb and were taking a moment to dry off and catch their breath. River pried the elastic out of her hair, already mourning how long it would take to get her hair back into some proper semblance of order.

“Yes?” she asked, not looking up from what she was doing. She flipped her head upside down, giving her hair up as a lost cause for now and pulling it back once more. Once that was done, she pulled her bag open, checking on what she had smuggled away in it.

“What are they called?” She asked, sounding slightly distracted. “The octopus people with the beaks and lots of eyes?”

She was about to answer when she realized what was wrong. “Hang on.” Her hand slowly moved towards the gun strapped to her thigh, making sure to make no sudden movements just in case they were about to be shot at. “How did you know that they have beaks? I never told you that.”. 

“You didn't have to.” she said, not-so-subtley pointing down the cliff. River's eyes followed the direction that she was pointing, to see an entire squadron of Zhoroff at the bottom of the cliff. Judging by the way their gills flared and tentacles curled, they were rather cross. She assumed that the reason they were upset had something to do with them breaking into their sacred temple - but really, it could have been anything. 

River sighed, prepping her blaster. “Ah. That explains it.”

“Can we run for it?” Jane asked, sounding thrilled at the very idea. River knew what she would see if she looked over at the other woman - eyes shining with adventure and a beautiful beaming grin on her face. 

But River shook her head, curls bouncing in every direction. She didn't even look at the other woman, not wanting to do so and then get caught up in the urge to kiss her - something that had been happening more and more often lately. “We’ll never make it.” she said, quickly calculating every possible scenario. Almost every one that she could think of happening ended in them dying - which meant she had to think of something new. “We’ll have to fight our way out.”

But Jane caught her by the arm, stopping her before she could even put her finger on the trigger. “Or,” she pointed out, “we could do the sensible thing, and talk.”

River huffed - the Doctor had a strong influence over this companion, that was for sure. Even after several months spent with her and away from her husband, Jane still had the unfailing ability to see the best in every situation, and the good in every species. It was as infuriating as it was endearing. “Fine.” She said, spitting the word out as though it were the worst sort of curse imaginable. “We'll try talking.”

They stood there, catching their breath and waiting for the Zhoroff to reach them. Or rather, River stood and waited - Jane sat down, crossing her legs under her as she pulled a book out of the pockets of her coat. 

Finally, the Zhoroff made it to them. The leader of them all was older than the rest, draped in deep blue robes. “Where is your mate?” The councillor asked, looking down on them haughtily. His long robes swished around him, tentacles writhing on the ground beneath him. “You have been caught leaving the sacred grounds, which you must have a mate to enter.”

“Of course I have a mate.” River scoffed, thinking quickly. She reached back for Jane’s hand, yanking her forward. The blonde could feel the curly-haired professor slipping something onto her hand as she pulled her forward to stand next to her. She risked a look down for half of a second to see something glinting on her hand. “She's right here.”

“Sorry, what?” Jane asked, short hair flying as she turned to stare at River.

They’re asking us if we’re married… sweetie.” She coached, giving Jane a look. “Go on, tell them.”

“Oh yes, of course we’re married!” She said, nodding her head at a ridiculous rate. “Totally married her, didn’t I? See? Here’s the ring and everything.” She held up both of their hands, entwined together, showing off the rings on them. River blinked - she hadn’t even felt it as Jane had slipped a matching ring onto her own hand. The white-gold bands clinked together merrily, and River studiously ignored the way the sound made her hearts skip a beat.

Finally she managed to regain her wits enough to say something. “You see? We're married.” She forced a smile onto her face as she laced her fingers through Jane's. “Now, if you wouldn't mind letting us go…” she fluttered her eyelashes at the Zhoroff guards, pulling Jane along behind her. “We'll be on out way.”

8888

Jane waited until they were far enough away from the natives to say anything. Until then, the sound of them breathing and their boots crunching through the sand was the only thing to be heard.

“Why exactly did we have to go into the sacred tombs of… however you say the name of this place?” she asked in a low voice, following quickly behind. Her legs were much shorter than River’s even though they were almost the same height

“Because,” River began, “the main artifact in the tomb isn't an artifact.”. There was a moment of silence while Jane processed that, before she asked her next question.

“Then what is it?”

River smirked. “A bomb.”

“Of course it is.” she muttered under her breath, so quietly that River almost missed it. “So we're going to take that bomb and disarm it… right?” she asked hopefully, huffing slightly as she tucked her hair behind her ear, only for it to fall right back in front of her face a second later. 

Of course not.” River scoffed, making sure the piece was carefully tucked away inside her bag, even as she kept an eye on the Zhoroff following along behind them. “I've got a ship full of black-market arms dealers just waiting for us off-planet.”

Jane froze. “Have you always been like this?” She asked, staring at the professor with a hint of awe and amusement - like she knew some sort of cosmic joke that she wasn’t going to share.

“What can I say?” River asked, practically purring the words even as she tossed her new wife a sinful smirk. “I was born bad.”

The other woman thought about it for a second, then nodded - she could definitely see that being the case. “Fine. After that, where are we going?”

“A honeymoon, I would think.” River said, taking a few seconds to think over the idea. “Somewhere clothing optional.”

Jane looked adorably confused until River cleared it up for her. “We did just get married, darling.”. The blush that covered her pale cheeks was enough to have happiness bubbling up in River's chest. 

“Right. Honeymoon.” She said slowly, then brightened up a bit. “Can we go somewhere with those little fried banana things? I love those.”

River rolled her eyes, completely missing the way that her new wife was staring at the ring on her finger, pale as a sheet with shock. “Yes - we’ll find you some sort of fried bananas.”

8888

It wasn't until they got back to the TARDIS that Jane said anything else.

“Where did you get the ring?” River jumped - for the first time she had met Jane, the other woman had been so quiet she had forgotten she was there. 

“I'm sorry?” She asked, pretending like she hadn't heard the question as she made her way to the console. While she wasn't actually putting any information into data into the Old Girl's controls, it was a good excuse to look busy.

“The ring.” Jane repeated, hands hanging limply at her sides as she stared at River. “Where did you get it from?” she lifted her left hand to stare at the ring on it, at the diamond that sparkled with an almost supernatural light. “It’s… it’s beautiful.”

River let out a breathless laugh, even as she tried not to think of where it came from, of the night that the Doctor gave her the ring, spread out under more stars in the sky than could be seen at any other moment in history. She remembered the way he looked at her, like she was the answer to a question that he didn’t even know he was asking. “I just… found it lying around somewhere.” she lied, smiling vaguely. “Couldn’t help myself, really - it was just so shiny. Do you like it?”

She couldn't help but notice that Jane looked disappointed - like she knew River was lying to her. “I love it.” Jane replied, her voice breaking off at the end.


	4. Chapter 4

They ran, hand in hand through time and space in a stolen TARDIS. This version of River Song was the sort that hid from the Doctor - that used the Rules of Time to her advantage, to win every battle. Saving planets and ending them in the same breath - that was how this River worked. It was like the early days all over again, only this time it was her grief and anger that drove her instead of a programmed blood lust.

But Jane tempered her flame just a bit. She made it easier to stay on the right path, to keep from hurting others more than she had to. Slowly, River Song began to heal. She laughed more and snapped less. She flirted with intent instead of just doing it because it was what she did. Her walls lowered - never falling entirely, but enough to let slip some of the information that the Doctor - ‘Jane’ - already knew.

It was nice, in a way - like getting to learn River Song all over again.

Her favorite part, however, had to be one thing - River let herself be vulnerable. Not too vulnerable, of course. There were things about River that would never change. But she let Jane help her when she got hurt, instead of brushing her offers aside like she had always done with the Doctor. She got to show off a bit - claiming to be a 49th century nurse explained away her knowledge of the tools in the med bay - and helping her wife helped her remember who she was, a bit. It was nice to not have to be the Doctor for a while. She just got to be Jane.

But eventually, the day came that they were both dreading.

8888

The Old Girl landed with a thud that seemed to echo, as if even she was upset that their adventures were coming to an end. River stepped back from the console, meeting the hazel eyes that stared back at her. Both pairs - one green-and-grey, the other hazel - were full of sadness and understanding. While neither of them wanted the other to leave, they both knew that it was time. They were parked right where they had been, barely having been missing for even a second. When the Doctor got back from whatever it was he was doing, he wouldn’t know anything had happened.

“So this is it, then?” Jane asked, a sad smile on her face. Her face was turned towards the ground, but her eyes kept looking back up at her wife. That face that had stared at the turning of the universe with so much awe, looked like her heart was breaking. “This is goodbye.”

River Song pulled her wife in for a kiss, knowing that it was probably the last time that she would see her. She couldn't help but smile at the way the other woman melted into her, grabbing onto her jacket to keep herself upright. “Goodbye, sweetie.” 

River didn't look back after that, just walked away.

8888

The Doctor slumped down on the jump seat, a wide, slightly silly grin on her face despite what had just happened. The TARDIS hummed, and the lights around the console brightened and dimmed in sequence as she asked her question.

“Yes, of course I knew!” the Doctor replied, sounding offended that the TARDIS had even asked if she had known that it was River at first. She was only glad that she had managed to drop her new best friends back in Sheffield for awhile - it wouldn’t have been any good for them to be around while she was adventuring with her wife. One wrong word from them, and all the carefully woven timelines would have collapsed.

She had known who it was from the moment that River walked into the TARDIS - there was a certain glee that the Old Girl only had when her child was nearby. Still, she had to keep the timelines intact, which meant pretending like she was her own companion to keep her wife from realizing who she was. Sometimes time travel was tricky, she mused. Of course, that was what she told herself - it was only part of the reason why she hadn't told her wife who she was. She had panicked. Worried that there was a chance that her wife wouldn't like her new form, she had pretended to be her own companion. In the end, she was competing with herself for River's affection - but then, it wasn't the strangest thing that she had done for her wife.

But even as she thought about that, she couldn't keep her eyes off the large, sparkly thing on her hand. The Doctor couldn't hold back her giggles any longer, even as she showed off the large diamond that now sat on her left ring finger. It had hurt a bit at first, when River lied about where she had gotten it from, but that hurt had been pushed aside after awhile. The TARDIS hummed happily, admiring the ring. “Took her long enough.” She snorted happily. “I warned her I’d notice next time. Still, second wife achievement: unlocked.”

She looked up, and the picture that she had left sitting on the console caught her eye. River had found it, giving her a copy before she left. It was the two of them sitting in the Bone Meadows, heads pressed together as they talked. Her coat had been spread underneath them, and one of the locals had taken the picture for them. She already knew it was going to become one of this body’s most prized possessions, and she reverently tucked it into her pocket.

“Second wife.” She mused, still idly playing with the ring on her finger. “Suppose now I just have to figure out what the first wife looks like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about adding on an Epilogue of sorts - where the TARDIS team is back on board and one of them sees the Doctor's ring. Let me know what you guys think of the idea!


End file.
